Screw you believers

The other day someone knocked at my door and I found a couple of old ladies. I was kinda surprised to find an Indian lady introduce herself and start speaking to me in Gujarati! I muttered something and she gave me a couple of magazines and left. The first magazine was about Jehovah's witnesses. Now under normal circumstances I don't have anything against Jehovah's witnesses. The only time I have heard of them was when my dad told me the Williams sisters were Jehovah's witnesses. But the minute you start trying to convert me I am gonna holler. I am sick of people telling me to believe in their god(s). First of all, I am an atheist. I have been agnostic for a long time and somewhere along the way I guess I stopped having my doubts all together. But even if I were religious, I don't see the point in going out and shouting in the streets about it. And guess what the wiki article for Jehovah's witnesses says: "Jehovah's Witnesses are best known for their door-to-door preaching......but they consider secular society to be morally corrupt and under the influence of Satan, and limit their social interaction with non-Witnesses." Enlightening.

There is an old man who stands outside the university center at UCSB at a certain time of the day. He tried giving me and my friends a bible in Hindi. That would have been fun. "An eye for an eye..." in Hindi eh? Not my cup of tea. I remember back in Bombay when the Ganpati mandal guys used to bug us almost every day for donations. Go set up your own mandal, jackass. You know what? I think we atheists got to get more organized. Almost become a religion even. Only thing we need is...a god....sorry, leader.

I hate missionaries of any kind. They may have done a lot of good but the whole idea reeks. And priests too. If you have seen a Hindu brahmin priest you will know that he is one of the most useless guys ever. All he does is mutter some random sanskrit slokas and grab maximum paisa from the janta. Hell, atleast he doesn't play around with boys like those Catholic priests. And Swamis too. India probably has like a million new Swamis every year, all competing in the market for people's devotion. How bad can it get?

I always thought religion was meant to be a personal thing. And I believe someone created god cos he must have realized that most people are bloody insecure and need to believe in some almighty power just for the hell of it! There were whole countries in Europe who embraced Christianity all because their kings told them to do so. How dumb can you get? Imagine if people still believed in Norse mythology! Instead of gold or diamonds the world would be obsessed with finding mithril! I was introduced to Hindu mythology as a kid - and I still love it. I just don't believe in it! There is a difference. I still think Mahabharatha is the greatest story ever. And we have a gazillion gods! I think the guys who were gonna write the vedas had had too much beer(or maybe soma?) and thought - "Lets have 330 million gods! No way India is gonna have more people than that." They were so wrong. But hey, we now have 1 god for every 3.5 people. Not bad. Apparently Hinduism allows for atheists too. I somehow don't dig that.

So wait, what was I saying again? Oh ya, atheism. I kinda feel the whole idea of atheism is to shun the world of religion and faith-mongering people. But it looks like we gotta do more now. Maybe I should say that the guy who made vada pav was an atheist and so everyone in Bombay should be one? ;) But we shouldn't let atheism in itself become a religion. Then there would be no difference between us and them!

Let me cite an example from the past that has been hurtful to atheists.

George Bush Senior once said: "No, I don't know that atheists should be considered as citizens, nor should they be considered patriots. This is one nation under God."

This from a guy who ruled the most powerful country in the world for 4 years. Amazing. And India has Karunanidhi, the Chief Minister of Tamil Nadu - a self proclaimed atheist. He once asked the BJP dudes - "Which engineering college did Ram study in?" and I can tell you, they were shocked beyond belief. They tried protesting in Tamil Nadu but they got as much attention as Sarah Palin did. Jackasses. Though I heard his wife (which one? must check index...) frequently prays for him whenever he falls sick. Who is the jackass now?

Mind you, I am not trying to make you stop believing in your god. In fact, I have no interest in doing so. As long as you keep your religion to yourself, I am happy. God save the world. No pun intended.

For the hungry atheist, here is something to buck you up : Ted Talk by Richard Dawkins on Militant Atheism

The great bong's article is worth a read too.

Here is a humorous take on the future of Atheism